Everything I Learned Within My First Year of Being a Pet Parent

It doesn’t take long after they move in for you to take a look at your dog and think, “Oh my god how could I possibly live without you?” You can barely remember a life before rushing home to see them, the daily walks, and having poop bags auto-ship from Chewy. You mean there was a point in my life that I didn’t spend all day thinking about what my dog was probably doing? Seems preposterous, if you ask me.

I have had my dog Jonathan for a year now, and the time before that fateful adoption day feels like a completely different lifetime. I have always been a dog person and had family dogs growing up, but getting the first dog that is your dog is a wild and crazy experience that makes you realize that your parents actually did all the work raising that family dog. It is mind boggling how little I knew this time last year until now, all thanks to Jonathan.

1. Instagram is NOT reality

Why has the illusion of a happy, perfect life on Instagram crossed over into dog Instagram territory? Dog influencers with millions of followers are doing incredible tricks and listening to all commands without hesitation. They are perfectly groomed with smooth, filed nails. Their house is spotless. The dog has its own designer luggage and flies cross-country in first class. 

This definitely makes people think that having a dog is easy — or that they’re doing something wrong because their dog doesn’t act like that. What you don’t see on the famous dogs’ pages are the months of training with zero progress. The chasing around the house just so you can cut their nails. The separation anxiety. The hundreds of dollars spent on new furniture after it’s ruined with chew marks… or the hundreds of dollars spent on vet bills. Or… the yellow stains on my white dog’s front legs because he pees on himself.

I felt like I knew what I was getting myself into, but I was still pulling my hair out. I expected some “accidents” but why did my house trained dog just pee on the floor immediately after he came back from a walk? The reality is not glamorous and having a dog shouldn’t be completely romanticized when you know you’re going to find vomit on your pillow at least once.

So many people are going through the exact same problems, and you’re doing great. Your patience will grow, and it will get easier. You’re not a bad dog parent; this is how it actually is. 

2. Genetics Do Matter

When my partner and I went to our first dog adoption event, I told him I was open to any breed (or mix of breeds). It came as no surprise, however, that a hound dog immediately stole my heart. My family had hounds for generations, and their long ears and “musical abilities” are something I absolutely cannot say no to. So, we ended up bringing that sad hound dog home.

There are a lot of mantras in the dog sphere that claim a dog’s behavior is in all how it is raised — a nurture over nature debate, if you will. While this is certainly true in many cases, “nature” and heredity is still going to play a huge part in a dog’s life. 

Jonathan is an American Foxhound/Treeing Walker Coonhound mix. These two breeds are remarkably similar — not just in looks, but they were both bred to be loud and high-energy hunters with incredibly powerful senses of smell. He was basically genetically poised to have all of these qualities plus the individualized quirks of the separate breeds. If I had adopted Jonathan and thought that we wouldn’t have to deal with any of those qualities because he has never actually been hunting, I would be naive.

Surprise, surprise, we adopted him and had two major problems we had to work through: baying when we left him alone in the house and extreme pulling on the leash as he zig-zagged down the sidewalk with his nose glued to the ground. There are definitely qualities of a hound that Jonathan didn’t seem to inherit, such as his prey drive (he looks for food instead of critters on our walks) and his laziness (he sleeps all day and gets tired easily). This has certainly made having a hound in a city easier, but we anticipated what we were possibly getting when we adopted him. It was a risk since we live in the city and most dogs like him live in rural areas. Knowing his breeds’ notable characteristics definitely helped us troubleshoot and cater to his specific needs, especially when it came to finding a trainer that was a “hound person.”

3. It’s Okay To Need Help

Jonathan was adopted by two crazy dog people. Both myself and his dad have had multiple dogs growing up; we were ready to take on every challenge. That was, until we realized we really needed some extra assistance.

I was afraid to get a trainer at first, overestimating that we could do it ourselves. I thought trainers were for people that have never had a dog — or for dogs that had trauma. It only took a few weeks into having Jonathan to realize we were in over our heads.

Jonathan’s pulling and baying were two things that probably wouldn’t have needed urgent help if we had lived in isolation. Instead, we live in a bustling city in apartments with thin walls. If you want to be a responsible pet owner and a courteous neighbor, your dog needs to be able to be controlled during walks, and they can’t be howling for hours in an apartment building. Also, Jonathan had started pulling so hard on his walks that I couldn’t walk him anymore — he had literally strained a muscle in my shoulder.

As someone who hates asking anyone for help, I had to swallow my pride. It was totally okay that we quickly called a trainer. Jonathan loves her and we still have a fabulous relationship with her today. Although I had to figure out how to “make it” in the city alone, I didn’t have to learn how to be a city dog mom alone.

4. Stop Being a Pushover

During our second training session, our trainer had to sit me down and tell me to stop being such a pushover (but in a nicer way, of course). I was essentially letting Jonathan do whatever he wanted and he was taking advantage of it. But he’s so cute!

She reminded me that I’m his mother before I’m his best friend. This was probably why our pre-trainer methods weren’t going well. He knew that I wasn’t going to enforce anything, so why bother?

This moment really helped things fall into perspective. I had to learn to be a bad cop sometimes, and that was okay. It made Jonathan and I’s relationship even stronger. Giving him structure and discipline meant he could look at me as the person to fully trust and rely on. I sometimes still find myself slipping and not reinforcing what I ask him to do, but like I said earlier, nobody’s perfect, and he’s just really cute. 

5. The Learning Never Stops

Did I mention that we still see our trainer a year later? Training a dog is a never-ending process (surprise). Jonathan has terrible recall skills and we have to work on them constantly. There are days where he decides not to listen at all — as if everything he has ever been taught was thrown out of the window. It is incredibly frustrating, and I have found a level of patience I never knew I had. 

Just like Jonathan, I am also constantly working and learning. There are dozens of things that I never knew existed until I became a pet parent: how to hold a leash properly, balanced training, the rescue dog adjustment period, dog socialization… the list goes on. It’s amazing how quickly I can analyze the sidewalk for trash Jonathan may eat. I can’t believe I can carry a 25 pound bag of dog food for ten blocks home.

I hope I never stop learning. Even through the stressful times, being a dog owner is one of the most rewarding decisions I’ve ever made. There are so many days where I’m amazed by Jonathan’s progress. The more I learn, the closer I feel to him and understand him. A year ago, the idea of not being the perfect pet parent would throw me into a panic. Today, Jonathan and I are figuring everything out together, and we make a great team.